Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
