used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
