so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
