so explain again why im purple
no
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
