scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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