I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize