I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
