I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
