I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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