Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
