if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
