I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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