did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
