I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
