your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize
