Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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