I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I don't deserve a penis
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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