I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
