haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
