i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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