this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
