What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
