So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He did a backflip because drugs
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
