I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
