I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
