i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize