FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
