that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
