Soap is not a condiment
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize