Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
