nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
