it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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