he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
