I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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