OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
