I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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