O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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