let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
