I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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