Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
