so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
