wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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