Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
