My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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