this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
