didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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