Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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