I love black thongs
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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