at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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