what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
