I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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