Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
