Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize