remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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