is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Randomize
