Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
