She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
