Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
