there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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