so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
